


I hate you (but i still have feelings for you)

by huvudrollen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 06:01:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4553451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huvudrollen/pseuds/huvudrollen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day Dean cheated on him will forever be remembered as the worst betrayal he has ever experienced. He tries to move on but he still has feelings for Dean.....</p>
            </blockquote>





	I hate you (but i still have feelings for you)

It had been a week and it still hurt terribly. Getting stabbed in the back by the person you love the most. Finding Dean in bed with that, skank! That was a stab Castiel would never recover from. The first few days had felt like he was dying. His phone constantly buzzed with texts from Dean. 

"I'm sorry I fucked us up ”  
”Please forgive me"   
"I still love you" 

Those texts were too painful to read or even see. But still he hadn't blocked Dean from his contacts. Because a little voice inside him said to him that they might solve this. But deep inside Castiel knew they wouldn’t.

A month later the memory of Dean were still painful. He often thought about him. Often found himself walking to Deans apartment out of habit. He stood outside in the cold winter air and looked up at the building Dean lived in. Castiel had thought of 1000 conversations and possibilities in his head on how their reunion could go. But he remembered Dean’s betrayal. How he got home from school and found Dean in bed with that blonde whore! 

Castiel walked back home with his hands in his pockets. 

A year later Castiel had started seeing Dean’s brother Sam. They had always been good friends but it weren't until a few drinks and a bottle of wine, and a night of sex that they became something more. Castiel met Dean again at a winchester family dinner. Dean stared at him from across the table as Castiel kissed Sam and talked with Mary. Of course Castiel noticed that look that said that could have been me. Castiel and Dean got alone as they both had volunteered to do the dishes. Castiel washed the plates in silence. 

”What are you even doing ?” Dean said and broke the silence   
Castiel dropped the plate back into he water.   
”What ?” he said with a tired and irritated voice 

Sam and Mary where in the living room watching television so they didn't have to worry about them overhearing this. 

”Why are you fucking around with Sam !? is it to get to me huh!” Dean said angrily. Castiel looked at Dean and saw the rage on his face. 

”You expect me to stay celebrate because I’m not with you ? If i remember it right it wasn't me who couldn't keep it out of my pants” 

Castiel found himself slammed against the counter 

”Don’t say that” 

”What that you are a man whore ? We both know you are!” 

Castiel felt a hit against his jaw. He knew Dean had anger issues. Even took some meds for it. Had something to do with childhood trauma and daddy issues. But he never thought this would happen. He had often thought while they still were a couple if Dean would ever hit him. He had always tried to not anger Dean. But now it had happened. Something he had feared. 

Castiel stared at him in shock and quickly left the room 

”Sam maybe we should go, i have work in the morning” Castiel said quickly 

They said their goodbyes to Mary and Dean. 

While they drove home Sam asked about the redmark on Castiel’s jaw 

He said it was just an itch 

The next time they met was on christmas day. The snow fell to the ground in thick layers. The winchesters always rented a cabin up in the mountains that they all stayed in over the weekend. They had all just eaten the big christmas dinner and they all were making themselves ready for the night. Sam helped Mary with cleaning up and had left Castiel with Dean by the TV. The only thought in Cas head was over how pathetic Dean were. How stupid and just idiotic he were! Dean were saying through the channels. He had done this now 5 times. 

”Stop!” Castiel growled 

Dean didn’t stop 

”I know you can’t move on from me but i could so i don't want you to be a baby over that i found someone else after you betrayed me!” Castiel hissed. 

”I still love you! You know that!” Dean said 

”Well i don't love you!”

It got quiet between them for a long while 

”I am so much more happier with Sam then i ever were with you Dean, at least Sam isn't embarrassed over that the person he loves has a cock”

Castiel had moved slightly closer to Dean so he wouldn't have to catch the attention of Mary and Sam 

”There’s nothing wrong with being who you are Dean” he whispered 

It happened quickly. It was a quick touch against his lips that still felt good after so long. That still had that small tingle that managed to make him weak in the knees. That kiss that weren't at all like Sam’s. 

As they moved away Castiel looked around for Sam 

But he still were in the kitchen 

Castiel kissed Dean again 

And he never wanted to stop

**Author's Note:**

> BEFORE YOU START ANGRILY COMMENTING   
> YES THEY ARE A BIT OC   
> YES THE GRAMMAR MAY BE A BIT WRONG BUT IM SWEDISH OKAY ?


End file.
